NYC has some exciting EPAs on the horizon and today was super cool cause we had the development lab EPA for FROZEN. Aka, the Broadway was looking for a Disney princess...
The lab is happening in May, but they are also doing an out of town tryout in Denver next year, so there are audishes to come. In any case, it was a good excuse to watch Frozen (for the first time!) with Momma King, and put my reddish hair to good use.
Got to Ripley round 7:30am, and there was already a line of ladies- but only because the building wasn't open yet. When we finally got to the holding room, it actually wasn't as many people as I assumed there would be! While we waited for the monitor to do sign up, we all had time to beat our faces, curl the hair, and play with the baby that showed up (for realz. This boss of a mama came with her 2 month old in tow, because, as she said, "It's Frozen. I had to come.").
Got my time, vocalized at cap/monologued to the students about my casting theories for the show, hustled back uptown to Ripley (bless you, unlimited metro card), sang my 32, exercised, scarfed a bunch of brussels sprouts at City Bakery, and clocked in at work.
I've been thinking a lot this week about how exhausting the "high stakes" aspect of auditioning can be. It is like going on several job interviews a week... But auditioning is much more vulnerable. You are presenting your voice, and emotional life, and physical self over and over again, and the lack of professional affirming feedback (or what some may call, the excess of "rejection") can get debilitating. And no one is harsher than your own inner critic. If you are not perfect (which is always:)), if you mess up, or didn't do what you knew you were capable of, it can ruin a day. But it is essential to remember that it is just one audish, and it doesn't set you back. There are always opportunities. And you are still worthy of being seen, no matter what.
To keep up the good fight with these open call auditions when you are exhausted by them or drained by their perceived negativity, it is imperative that you find the "Exhilarating Moments" of the audition process. Finding the Exhilarating Moments is another way of saying, find the positive. It is always sooooooo easy to lean into the negative. Anyone can do that. But it takes much more work to find the positive. If you hate auditioning, find what you love about it. Landing on the exhilarating moments of this process is what will feed your purpose and will keep getting you up at 6am to take your giant-ass backpack to sign up and get SEEN. Turn the positives into affirmations that you can repeat to yourself when you find yourself steeped in negative self-talk and worn down by the seeming lack of forward momentum.
Here are my own affirmations when it comes to the audition:
- The people behind the table are rooting for me. They want me to be the answer!
- I am meant to do this. I am meant to share my gifts, my voice and my story with the world and I have the chance to do that today.
- This is what I dreamed about as a 14 year old lying awake at night in little Pasadena, Maryland.
- I will meet a casting director today that will help me onto the next step of living the life of my dreams.
- This is my job. It's my dream job!
- I choose to be inspired by all those around me. We are all a part of this beautiful community.
- Auditioning is fun! I get to act and sing material I love today!
For real tho, auditioning is super fun! I allow myself to be that highschooler auditioning for my school plays. I LOVED the excitement of it. It was always so thrilling. And how cool that this life we chose allows us all these moments of exhilaration.
Keep doing what you love!!